Being Here

July 17, 2018

As Casey and I wade through the intricacies of moving across the world and truly relying on one another for the first time in our marriage, I’m reminded of these vows- “My purpose is to cherish and protect your joy.”
What a noble and worth while mission for the one you love, right?
I’ve struggled with my “purpose” in Germany if I’m honest. Most days look like staring at my feet in a hotel room for hours, feeling inadequate, visualizing everything I’ve built crumbling, overthinking it all.
I’ve concluded that this chapter looks like me just being present for my husband in the evenings and on the weekends. To support his dreams, cheer him on and keep him company. When this feels like not enough or restlessness creeps in, I’m going to go back to these vows.
Sometimes it’s simple even though it’s not easy or natural. Sometimes it means putting your own career and interests on the back burner, knowing that’s what marriage is all about. Reminding myself, there is a time for everything. I’m happy to do this. I’m challenged in doing this. Being, not doing. Protecting. For all of you in a similar season, questioning your purpose, you’re probably being more than you realize for the ones you love. Is there a greater purpose?

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